Spiritus Mundi

 

Moonset over Immokalee, FL

It is a hard time for optimists. Never in my life have I had such profound sadness on a daily basis over the increasingly evident wreckage of this world. I do not believe in any kind of glory day, nationalistic, patriotic bullcrap, that is not what I mean. I'm talking about the world, the planet. We, the people of this planet, to one degree or another, have been conditioned into living treadmill lives ruled by corporate overlords, who sell us money, and poisons, in the form of thoughts and material goods which we consume and excrete. I don't care about who did what to whom and who deserved what, and how good or bad anyone else is or was. It's how we got here, and here we are. The collective and historical we has poisoned this world with ideologies, economies, and chemicals. In so many ways we strayed into the mess we currently see crumbling all around us. The big picture was hidden for the trees. It's such a system that it is even difficult to extricate yourself from one poison or another in the simple hope of not making things worse. What a mess. I work in an 'industry' that needs to be dismantled, public education. I feel bad about that, but let the chips fall, the day is coming. What do you feel when you see wildlife trapped in 6 pack rings, refugees wearing donated tshirts espousing late stage-capitalism ennui? I imagine this moment in the shadows, moving and adjusting itself through history, our decisions and acceptances changing its shape until it arrives, this moment. And you and I are here for it. Maybe there is a reason for that, but don't let that bring on a tangent. I'm not going to entertain thoughts on that thought because it doesn't matter. Regardless, you and I are here for a time of systemic shut down and rebooting. This world needs a deep cleansing and so do we. Because this time of institutions crashing all around is needed, desperately. The center will not hold, as the poem says. I am going out on a limb to do my best not to be fearful of the falling away. Sadness and fear had me by the brain, and I've got to stop that. It has made me crawl, barely feeling hope for the children I see every day. More than once I've felt close to tears when I look at them, after reading or thinking about some terrible thing. I've been thinking, what to do, or not do? No single person can do it all or even much of the things that need to be done. To get even superficially involved in every pressing need we are concerned with would only spin us out and waste our energy. But retreating into despair isn't an option anymore, either. For me, to start, I'll discern more carefully how to be true to my self; to pause more often, asking what is truly good for my self? To listen to my human body, which lets me know in every moment what is correct for it. This means using my heart, my instincts, and my wallet to benefit and bring forth the changes I feel most aligned with. To take time to be. Emptyheaded. I'm doing my best work then, when I'm just letting my energy mingle with the environment. Recharging and refilling my reserves.

Politics, religion, education, banking, medicine, agriculture, fashion, everything, is being shaken; the chaff falls to the ground. 100 years of entropy later and the world quickens daily. Please join me in sweeping the porch, your porch and mine, in washing the windows, yours and mine, in opening them wide, letting in the fresh yet ancient air of earth. In sitting back for a moment, rocking our broken hearts as we would a crying baby. We are going to see some sad, sad things. Maybe in 20 years, I'll finally be doing the teaching of my dreams - students sprawled across cushions and chairs, at ease, taking naps if needed, eating when hungry, talking about good stories we've read, while we make sandwiches, sweep the floor, and write letters to our favorite characters.

~Dorothy Dolores