Best of Nan Brooks: Antidotes to Despair

 

                      Esperanza (the yellow flower) means hope

Hard times, dear ones, hard times. When the conversation moves past small talk these days, and past complaints about the weather, the neighbors’ dogs, the state of the world, then it moves deeper and often reveals the underlying despair. Many of us are in its grip these days.

We watch and wait for the next disaster, international or personal. The requests for prayers for healing of suspicious tumors, viral illnesses gone on far too long, complications after routine surgeries, mental illnesses worsening, come to me several times a day now, faster than ever. I am fortunate; I can sit quietly for lengths of time to pray, send healing, listen, attend. 

Over a lot of years, I’ve gathered these notions of how to cope. Yes, I know, one more list of what to do for self care. But the wise ones who shared these with me would want to share them with you, too.  I’ve had to remind myself of this stuff for the last few – um – years. So…

THINGS TO DO IN HARD TIMES – OR

ADVICE THAT HELPED ME AND I HOPE IT HELPS YOU, TOO 

In No Particular Order

Be gentle with yourself. Turn the volume down on the voices that say “Do something!”  There are a million causes and we all want to fix it all. Choose one thing (or three at the most) and focus on that. 

"All I can do is all I can do. And all I can do is enough."

Choose what matters most to you – it doesn’t have to matter to anyone else. Then go for it.  And some days, take a break and do nothing.

 Sit quietly and listen. You know what is best for yourself, but it’s hard to see or hear or feel the way through in the noise and busyness. You deserve to rest.

Eat wisely. You know what that means for you. No one else needs to know or to tell you. If someone can help you know HOW to feed yourself with love, let them teach you.

Drink water. Yes, I know, what water is safe?  Drink the cleanest water you can.

Honor your own knowing. Second guessing your choices will not help.

Sleep hygiene is a pain in the patoot until it works. No blue screens for an hour before sleep. No violent input. Turn off the news. Pet the dog, talk to the fish, read something fun, listen to peaceful music.

Limit your consumption of the news to a set amount of time each day. If the news anchor is yelling, that won’t help you absorb the information. It’s just scarey. 

Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself. You know who they are.

Do something for someone else, but only when you can. 

Nourish yourself with visual beauty indoors or out, with music that inspires or soothes. Or that helps you vent the anger.

Move your body one way or another. You can dance in a chair when you can’t walk, after all.

Spiritual practice helps. Maybe you pray, maybe meditate whatever way works for you, maybe you walk in nature, maybe you go to church, maybe you practice the Twelve Steps. If what you are doing isn’t working for you, try something else. Break the rules that keep you from spiritual connection. As the 12-step folks say, “If you’ve lost your spiritual connection, who moved?

Which reminds me, alcohol and recreational drugs won’t help in the long run, or even the short run. Nor will overwork, meaningless sex, obsessive exercise. You know if you are overdoing it and you know if you are trying to silence or shut down the fear or memories. There is help for you out there. You know folks who are sober and clean and doing well, give them a call, eh?

Take from this list what serves you and ignore the rest.

I wish you peace of mind and body and spirit.